A Coworker Invited You to Their Wedding. Do You Go? How Much Cash Goes in the Envelope? A Full Guide to Korean Wedding Gift Money

Introduction

One day at lunch, a Korean coworker from your line hands you what looks like a small white envelope.

"저 다음 달에 결혼해요. 시간 되면 오세요." Jeo daeum-dare gyeolhonhaeyo. Sigan doemyeon oseyo. ("I'm getting married next month. Come if you have time.")

It's a 청첩장 (cheongcheopjang — a Korean wedding invitation). And the moment it's in your hand, your head starts spinning.

You're not even that close to this person. Do you have to go? Is it weird if you don't? If you go, how much money do you give? People say the money goes in an envelope — but how do you write on it? And what on earth are you supposed to wear?

If you work in Korea long enough, a wedding invitation will land in your hands eventually. And this thing called 축의금 (chukuigeum — wedding gift money) is one of the cultural moments that trips up foreigners the most. Give the wrong amount and it's awkward; don't know the format and you'll be sweating at the reception desk. So let's walk through all of it — from "do I even go?" to filling out the envelope.

1. First — What Is Chukuigeum?

Korea has a long-standing custom called 부조 (bujo). When someone goes through a major life event — a wedding, a funeral — the people around them each chip in a little money to share the burden together.

Within that, the celebratory cash you give at a wedding is 축의금 (chukuigeum), and the condolence money you give at a funeral is 부의금 (buuigeum). (This article is about weddings — chukuigeum. Funerals have a completely different mood and set of rules, so we'll cover those separately.)

Here's the key thing: chukuigeum isn't just a gift — it's part of a give-and-take relationship. If you give a coworker 100,000 won at their wedding, the underlying logic of Korean bujo is that they'll return something similar when your own wedding or life event comes around. It's a kind of mutual exchange.

That's why Koreans quietly remember who gave what at whose wedding — returning the same gesture is considered good manners. For a foreigner this part can feel a little heavy, but don't overthink it. Almost no Korean expects a foreign worker to pay it back to the exact won.

2. Do You Go, or Can You Skip It? (By Closeness)

This is the first wall you hit. Bottom line: you do not have to attend every wedding you're invited to. Your options shift depending on how close you are.

How to decide

There's one important signal here: did they hand you the invitation directly?

In Korea, people give the invitation directly — into your hand, or via a personal message — to the people they genuinely want there. By contrast, dropping a "Hey everyone, I'm getting married~" message into a group chat is closer to a casual announcement: come if you want. So if all you saw was a group-chat notice, skipping it isn't strange at all.

What if you can't make it?

If it's a close coworker but your schedule just won't allow it, send the gift money separately. You can ask another coworker who's attending to carry the envelope for you, or — increasingly common these days — send it by bank transfer. In that case, attach a short congratulatory message.

"결혼 진심으로 축하드려요! 그날 일이 있어서 직접 못 가서 너무 아쉬워요. 행복하게 사세요 :)" ("Congratulations on your wedding! I'm so sorry I can't make it that day. Wishing you all the happiness :)")

One line like that is plenty. You don't need to feel guilty for not going. Conveying the sentiment is what matters.

3. How Much Goes in the Envelope? (2025 Figures)

The question everyone really wants answered. Give too little and you worry it looks rude; give too much and it strains your wallet. Luckily, there's recent survey data for 2025.

The job platform Incruit asked 844 working adults in 2025 about the "appropriate wedding gift for a coworker" (assuming you attend and eat the meal). Here's what came back:¹

• 100,000 won — 61.8% (a clear first place)
• 50,000 won — 32.8%
• Under 50,000 won — 3.2%
• 150,000 won — 1.4%

As recently as 2023, the same survey had 50,000 won (65.1%) in first place. By 2025 it had climbed to 100,000 won.¹ As prices rose, the going rate for gift money rose with them.

It also shifts by relationship. In the same survey, for a personally close coworker, after 100,000 won (59.7%) the next most common answers were 200,000 and 150,000 won; for a work-only coworker, after 100,000 won (60.1%) the next was 50,000 won (30.0%).¹ The closer you are, the more you tend to give.

So how much should you give? (A realistic guide for foreign workers)

Translating those numbers for a foreign worker — and remember, this is the general vibe, not a law:

One instinct to internalize: if you go to the venue and eat the meal, Koreans generally treat 100,000 won as the baseline. There's a reason. The per-person meal cost at a wedding hall is no joke. Per a 2025 Korea Consumer Agency survey, the national average wedding meal runs about 58,000 won per head, and around 85,000 won in the Gangnam area of Seoul.² So there's an underlying instinct that "if I'm going to eat the meal, it's polite to give a bit more than the meal costs."

Conversely, if you don't attend, 50,000 won is perfectly fine — there's no meal to cover.

And the most important line of all: don't stretch yourself. The essence of chukuigeum isn't the amount — it's the act of celebrating. Give what fits your situation. Nobody badmouths someone for giving 50,000 won.

💡 One tip on amounts: Korea has an old preference for odd-numbered sums, so people usually give in units of 50,000 / 70,000 / 100,000 won. 100,000 is even, but it's treated as a "round, complete" number, so it's an exception. Odd-looking amounts like 60,000 or 80,000 won are rarely given, so it's safest to avoid them.

4. How to Fill Out the Envelope — and How to Hand It Over

Once you've settled on the amount, it's the envelope's turn. At Korean weddings, you put cash in a white envelope. Envelopes are usually available at the venue entrance, and you can buy them at convenience stores and stationery shops.

Writing on the envelope

The front center of the envelope usually has a congratulatory phrase printed in Chinese characters (hanja) or Korean. If it's a blank envelope, you can write it yourself:

• 축 결혼 (祝 結婚) — the safest, most standard
• 축 화혼 (祝 華婚) — a phrase used for the bride's side
• Plain Korean, "결혼을 축하합니다" ("Congratulations on your wedding"), is completely fine too

On the lower left of the back of the envelope, always write your name. This is the most important step! The bride and groom later compile a list of "who gave how much," and without a name, they have no way of knowing it was from you. Since there may be people with the same name at the same company, adding your department or "○○ team" next to your name is even more considerate.

Handing it over at the venue — find the 접수대 (reception desk)

When you arrive at the wedding hall, there's a 접수대 (jeopsudae — reception desk) near the entrance. It's a small table with one or two people seated, a 방명록 (bangmyeongnok — a guest book for names), and a box for the money. There are usually separate desks for the groom's side and the bride's side.

Go to the desk for whichever side you know — the groom or the bride.

The sequence is simple:

1. Go to the correct side's (groom/bride) reception desk
2. Hand over your envelope (the attendant will take it)
3. Write your name in the guest book
4. Receive a meal ticket — some venues give one, some don't
5. Give a small nod and head into the hall

There's nothing to be nervous about. The desk attendants greet hundreds of people a day — just hold out the envelope and they'll guide you through it.

5. What Do You Wear? (Guest Dress Code)

Dress can be quietly confusing too. The core rule is exactly one thing: don't outshine the bride.

• A simple suit, or a clean shirt/blouse with neat trousers or a skirt is plenty. It doesn't need to be expensive at all.
• Men: a shirt with slacks, or a jacket, looks sharp. Just avoid anything too casual like jeans and a t-shirt.
• Women: avoid a pure white dress. White is the bride's color. Wearing something that competes with the bride is considered a serious faux pas in Korea. Also skip anything overly flashy or revealing.
• Colors: black, navy, beige, or pastels are safe bets.

Clean everyday clothes — not your work uniform — are enough. Not owning a suit doesn't disqualify you. Just keep it neat.

6. Where Do You Eat? — Meal Tickets and the Buffet

Another defining feature of a Korean wedding is the meal — the part foreigners find most surprising. The ceremony itself (the main event) is usually short, 30 minutes to an hour, and then the meal follows.

If you got a meal ticket

If you received a meal ticket at the reception desk earlier, take it to the 연회장 (yeonhoejang — banquet/buffet hall). You hand the ticket in at the entrance. Many venues don't give tickets at all — in that case, just walk in.

What a Korean wedding buffet is like

• Most are buffet (ppwipe) style — you serve yourself onto a plate, taking what you want.
• You can eat and leave early. There's no obligation to stay to the end. Eat, give the couple one more word of congratulations, and quietly head out.

At your first Korean wedding, you might be startled: "Wait, everyone's leaving the ceremony to go eat?" Yes — that's just how it works. Don't overthink it; follow the flow.

7. The 5 Things Foreigners Get Most Thrown By

Finally, here are the moments foreign coworkers actually stumble over at Korean weddings.

1. "The ceremony is so short!" — True. The main ceremony wraps in 30 minutes to an hour. Unlike the long weddings and receptions abroad, Korean ones are short and efficient. It's partly because another couple's ceremony is often booked right after, back to back.

2. "The line for photos with the couple is so long." — After the ceremony there's a group photo. If you're close, get in it; if not, skip it and go eat. It's not mandatory.

3. "I forgot to write my name on the envelope…" — The most common mistake. A nameless envelope leaves the couple with no idea who it came from. Writing your name on the back — never skip it.

4. "Can I just send it by bank transfer?" — Fine if you can't attend. But if you're going in person, the envelope is the default. Think of bank transfer as the "can't-make-it" method.

5. "We're not close and I feel pressured." — The most important point. If you're not close, you can skip it, and even if you go, 50,000–100,000 won is plenty. Receiving an invitation doesn't obligate you to attend. Decide comfortably, based on your own finances and how close you actually are.

8. So, What Can You Do?

By now you might be thinking, "that's a lot to memorize…" But really, it comes down to three things.

1. Close? Go. Not close? You can skip it. If they handed you the invitation directly and it's someone you want to show up for, go. If you only saw a group-chat notice or barely know them, nobody will give it a second thought if you don't.

2. Attend and eat: 100,000 won. Don't attend: 50,000 won. Hold onto that one instinct and you've solved 99% of it. A little more if you're close; 50,000 is fine if money's tight.

3. Name on the back of the envelope, hand it to the reception desk, eat, say congratulations, leave. Remember that sequence and you'll never be lost at the venue.

If the congratulatory phrases on the envelope, or the greetings flying around the venue, still feel unfamiliar, keeping up a little Korean practice makes the day far easier. Even doing one short Korean lesson on your commute widens the range of what you can catch at these life-event gatherings.

Wrapping Up

The first time you receive a wedding invitation in Korea, it's supposed to be a happy occasion — yet somehow the nerves come first. How much is the polite amount? How do you write the envelope? What do you wear? It's easy to feel small in front of rules you don't know yet.

But hold onto one thing. Being invited to a wedding means that coworker counted you as someone they wanted beside them on one of the happiest days of their life. Answering that with a small celebration — that's the whole of chukuigeum. The amount and the format are secondary.

It's okay to feel awkward at first. After you've been to one, the next wedding will feel far more natural. And that's you taking one more step into life in Korea.

Share this with someone preparing to come to Korea.